Never one for the dramatic, but must admit to running up stairs in house on day after Easter, pumping fists in manner of Sly Stallone in Rocky.
Easter celebration successful despite un-spring weather and over-capacity crowd. Next morning, finding spoils of entertaining, including unopened bottles of wine, purchased by others, put Mona-Lisa-esque smile on Pzw’s face. On dark side, realized family enjoys causing stress for normally calm Pzw. Watching stressed host apparently better than trivial pursuit as holiday entertainment. Jealous nature an unfortunate characteristic in husband’s family.
Planned to enjoy quality zen time during spring break, only to have bubble of calmness burst by seemingly harmless scraps of paper known as, COUPONS. Coupons have long taunted Pzw with their mere existence. If Pzw feels guilty enough to face dreaded, “do later, or more likely, never” pile, hours are spent snipping and sorting, followed by composing coupon-coordinated grocery list. Next, must make it to store before coupons expire AND remember to bring coupons (plus give to cashier at checkout). Then spend rest of day in store, checking prices, nutritional info and matching correct brand, size and quantity to coupon instructions. Evil coupon people (ECP) do this on purpose, am sure they are related to “rebate” people, who dangle free money, knowing that only most organized and dedicated will successfully navigate through maze of detailed instructions to receive gift card in mail 10 months later.
Anyway, the other day, Pzw was wallowing happily in her zen place, when made the mistake of entering a grocery store. Immediately came upon member of radical group of overachieving women who participate in phenomena called “Super Couponing.” Super couponers (SCs) are professional braggers who enjoy bringing shame upon others. They are often found in pairs, huddled over mac-daddy three-ring-binders (complete with pockets and dividers). A chance encounter with an SC can drive a wedge through Pzw’s most perfectly balanced, positively energized day. No number of invisible daggers shot through backs during never-ending checkouts, will cause SCs to flinch or crush confidence. All energy is used to ensure cashier is ringing up complex couponing formulas correctly. SCs always purchase at least two and up to 50 of same item. Some items are inexplicably free for SCs. Eventually, cashier announces grand total of $4.68 for one cart.
Pzw wants to save more money than spends. Just once. But, it is zen to know one’s limitations, and Pzw knows that coupons are not, and never will be, her friends.
Zen tip: Do not enter grocery stores.